About Me
Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina —
My background is… interesting and diverse. If you want the nutshell version (aka my resume)
If you want to stick around and know some additional details, keep reading!
My story starts in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. I am a Northerner with a Southern twist. I moved to North Carolina after graduating high school, with a very average GPA.
I went on to study at East Carolina University in Greenville, NC where I received my Bachelor’s in Social Work, a minor in psychology (2011), and later my Master’s in Clinical Social Work, specializing in Addiction Counseling (2014).
I have been practicing clinical social work since 2014 - whoa, time flies! I have gathered experience in an array of clinical settings from residential substance abuse treatment for women with children, to inpatient detox and psychiatric stabilization, to forensic mental health with correctional populations, and finally realizing my place in private practice.
It was in the last few years, learning how to manage my own life and business, I put those experiences into action and started practicing what I preach (aka RightSize Perspective). RSP is my journey (soon to be a program for other providers) of how I started taking care of myself while I was taking care of other people.
My goal in sharing my story is to help inspire those new providers coming into the field of social work, any helping professional, or any provider in society, to understand how they can prioritize caring for themselves while doing the service work that is very needed in this world. I may not have it all figured out, but I have realized the balance that is needed to build the mind, body, and spirit of other people, must start with the individual. Instead of practicing just with our clients, I advocate for the individual practice of what we preach to others. I consider it the ethical backbone and best practice. We help people do hard things, so we must learn that we are capable of those hard things ourselves.
My ongoing growth and recovery from my own codependent upbringing have resulted in a life transformation (read more on the RSP page). I have been successful in believing that it is possible to cultivate change in difficult situations, even when we are burnt out. It is a delicate process, but once I experienced it, I cannot unknow it.
I remind myself every day that Without failure, there is no healing. Without rupture, there is no repair. Without imbalance, there is no balance. Without fear, there is no faith.
Thank you for visiting my website. Please feel free to ask questions, poke around, and figure out what it means for you to be here connecting with me.
Please let me know how I can best support you in your journey of recovery.
My Journey
My story will eventually be a book!
SO until then, let me give you the run down to bring y’all up to speed…
This is me as of Jan 2021 <glance right, mobile glace Up>
Do you see her?! Can we just take her in for a second!?
That blue is just, Whoa…
Ok, so moving on, this was my first professional photoshoot. Naively, I thought I had evolved to a point in my life where I was “good”. Ha! Life had something else for me.
Who wore it better?
Yep, that is the same dress!
May 2017
Jan 2021
In May of 2017, I was nearing the unhealthiest place in my life.
What did that look like? Well, the scale said 389lbs. My voice spoke “I’m doing great!”. My spirit was dull. My heart was guarded.
I hid behind my complimenting color ONLY wardrobe, a sarcastic “sense of humor” (aka passively processing my lack of emotional awareness and deflecting away from my emotional stagnancy) all while I dove headfirst into my education and then a full-time career!
Change?! You want me to do what?! Ain’t no one got time for fixing something not broken…
I’m happy enough! I’m an Amazon. My bones are just big, See my wrist?
I’m supposed to be a Big Beautiful Woman. That’s what men tell me at least…
SKURRRRRRRRRRRRRTT!
Can you tell me what is “OFF” about what you have read?
It’s okay, you have time to scroll up and think what could be so wrong with that I have told you…
Ok, I will tell you.
I have always been my own worst critic but the Sh*T! I said is straight-up triggering ALL my fears and insecurities. Example: being a Big Beautiful girl….friend-zoned or ghosted by who I wanted and desired by those I was not attracted to.
Why is this even important? because every time I said those things, I willingly stepped back into a cycle of unhealthy self-sabotage in SOME area of my life!
Let’s take it back a little bit…
Ever since I was a kid, I have found comfort in food.
Food distracted me through my parents’ divorce, a family pattern of alcoholism, and the loss of my father to cancer when I was 16. I have had family tell me stories about how I was always at the food table…dating back to when I was, like….
*thinks dramatically* THREE year old?!
Many, if not all, of my childhood memories, have food associated with them. I am not entirely sure at what age an innocent love of food turned into a chemical dependency.
At that point (mid to late 90’s) people had no idea how impactful the food and beverages influenced them compared to present day.
One day it’s let’s go get an ice cream cone with Pops, the next it’s Sugar is BLISS to
I NEED something SWEET!
Don’t even mention when I was going thru some emotional shit.
To my parents out there….How do you even handle that as parent? Especially since it has been building itself from a system that you primarily have the most control over? At least I’m not a drug addict?
**shrugs confusingly?**
Anyways, the rest of those reflections will be in my book. Make sure you stay connected to learn how I am NOT resentful of my parents.
I HEALED.
oh ya, look at her!
Keep scrolling
Sept 28, 2021
Can you see a difference between beginning of 2021 and current?
Fast Forward to The Decision
The irony is that I was able to function and keep myself even more distracted from the cyclical depressive episodes and high functioning anxiety.
I became not only chemically imbalanced in my brain (sugar and serotonin), my behaviors were reinforced by a codependent thought process and one HELLA reactive Central Nervous System.
I was trapped in my own chaos.
I chose a career of helping and caring for others — I became a clinical mental health and addictions therapist. Help everyone else before helping myself. Always had someone else’s problems to solve. … over, and over, and over again.
Do yourself a favor right now…
Get used to the word CODEPENDENCY.
It’s not bad. It is required for healthy human relationships.
IN A BALANCED AMOUNT!
What is a balanced amount, you say? I cannot tell you exactly as I do not live your life. But I CAN tell you how it presented in my life.
Leaving ONLY 6-8 semi-conscious hours for myself a DAY with little to no self-respect for my health, low self esteem, lack of awareness, poor personal identity…you get the point? Or should I keep going?
I’ll keep going…
So, now that you have a glimpse into my closet,
I can bring you up to speed on how to
attain your RightSize Perspective.
Please be patient with me as I am on a mission to change the world…
Make sure to add yourself to the contact list below for updates on upcoming events and information about what I am up to!
Trust me, you will want to be involved!
Inconsistent and ineffective communication of my thoughts and emotions. Scared to disappoint anyone. Fear of being a bad friend. Unable to look at myself naked. Overcompensating my lack of self-efficacy and feelings of shame about being unlovable in the form(s) of procrastination, hypersexuality, and detrimental financial decision-making.
I remember thinking that I was almost 30 years old and hadn’t had many experiences that made me happy. My relationships were short and based on sexual validation; my friendships were based on some very unhealthy lifestyle patterns despite the fun had and memories made… they were unhealthy because I was unhealthy. I had to buy new things to make myself feel better, and honestly, I was over feeling broken and tired.
I was perpetually causing my own problems and I couldn’t blame anyone else….
and then the lightbulb went off…